My Prodigal Wife

Today I wonder if what I did was right.

To be within myself and let my heart fight.

To lose someone so special like you.

And never to let out even a slight clue.

I confess I was always crazy about you.

I admit I couldn't stop falling in love with you.

You filled my empty feeling within, for you were with me through thick and thin.

Every time I spoke to you, the more I fell in love with you.

U left me no choice but to watch someone else enjoy my piece of cake.

I could bear an empty heart, but not lose a smile that made the dark glow.

I saw my dream breaking, and yet I held back my tears to fulfill ur dreams which you always whispered close to my ears.

I was in pain and yet I pretended to be strong.

I always wished for u to be right and me to be wrong 

I stayed quiet even when I had most to say just to avoid a rant

My heart wanted you to stop hurting me but your happiness mattered more.

I wanted to say that which would make you stay but my lips didn't have the strength to say.

Holding back everything, I watched you go away.

No one can take your place for I have stitched my heart with your love's lace.

Branded & engraved in my heart, is the memoir of your face, ur kisses and warmth.

My fear is eternal regret for I will never find again this beauty and grace.

Now it makes me wonder, if I committed a blunder.

Wonder if I fought harder to the last nerve.

Wonder if you ever felt the same.

Wonder if your heart skipped a beat.

The day you despised me, 

the day I became a memory to you, 

the day you made me meaningless in your life and overwhelmed with emotions, 

I tried to fight fate & in a bid to to get your love back, I expressed the way I felt but I suffered the consequences thereof.

You might be gone but we are never over.

You're my prodigal wife.

Out of love, I watched you leave with my life in ur hands.

Out of love, I watched you spend good time with strangers who knew not anything about you.

You were not perfect physically, health-wise and emotionally but you were mine.

You wanted someone with new & unknown flaws but you didn't think what will happen when they are revealed.

You didn't imagine their reaction when they discover the real you.

Did they like the whole package?

Or they were mesmerized by what is visible at face value & infatuated.

We are all human and to err is nothing but human.

I pray one day I will make sense in your mind.

I pray one day I will be the bright future you always wanted.

Either way, when all have failed you,

When the flaws you thought were hidden are revealed & you see that you made a mistake, just know I forgave you already.

When your world is falling apart & all you need is true comfort & unconditional love.

When you're ready to risk it with someone who changed for you, 

someone who knew every single flaw on you but still loved you like you were the only girl left.

When you're ready to forgive & when you're ready to honour all the promises you made when you were still in love with me...

Then I want you to remember there is a home you left that only feels alive with you in it.

I want you to remember that there is a heart that only you can nurse.

I want you to remember that there are cheeks with ever-flowing tears that only you can wipe.

I am the home that you come back to, to find comfort when the world has been harsh on you.

I want you to be happy but when you can't find the happiness you thought you would find on the other side, remember...

I am here, broken & waiting for you to heal my heart, mend my soul and spend the rest of your life with me.💍

When you're ready, come back home.

I will love you forever & please bear in mind that letting you go is a hope that may be next to never.