Respect Your Ex. Why?

As I look back on my previous relationships, I realize and acknowledge that I’m no angel when it comes to breakups. I’ve had my fair share of, deleting all the pictures, throwing away gifts, throwing tantrums, emotional breakdown, thwarting and changing cliché Instagram & Facebook captions. But as I reflect on my life (as I do so every sleepless night), I begin to realize my life is the way it is because of my exes, which made me feel the need to respect them as it were.

All in all, my life has been significantly altered because of most people that no longer serve a purpose in it. Even though it may have taken me longer to come to this realization, I’d like to challenge you to be grateful for the good and the bad that transformed you into who you are today because whether you like it or not, we’ve only got one chance to make this the best life we’ve ever lived, and it’ll be a whole lot better if we carried no emotional baggage from the past with us.

‘Respect your ex because one day you will reflect on your life, although you’ll be a distant memory in each other’s lives, they will be the reason you are the way you are.’- Lord Vito.

Not every relationship end mutually. Not every relationship is a smooth runway. Every relationship has its bumpy patches and most often than not, it is the people we love the most who are going to hurt us gravely. Now, being aware of this stubborn fact, it seemed only fair to never respect my ex because she hurt my feelings real bad but that’s not the notion I rally behind today. On the contrary, I came to the realization that I have to respect my ex and so do you. It doesn’t mean you still have to be friends though. It doesn’t mean you have to forget they hurt your feelings either but it’s about what’s the best thing you can do to stay as positive as possible and repel any form of negative vibrations.

Before you react in line with popular belief after a break up, remember at one point in time, your ex were your everything, your dream, and quite possibly the person you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. Don’t pretend you didn’t share irreplaceable memories together because you did and that’s how you know it was real. Go ahead and cry. Be angry that they hurt you, go out often, hang out with friends and seek that closure that’s going to make you feel better. Do whatever it takes but with that being said, have some dignity to respect your ex.

It’s easy to push the blame on someone after a breakup but get over the urge to do so by all means necessary. Don’t fool yourself saying it was never your fault and you never did anything to hurt your your ex, because we all at some point in our lives hurt somebody intentionally or not. Let me balance you real quick, you aren’t perfect, your ex wasn’t perfect and that’s okay! Have some dignity and pride to respect that you two weren’t right for each other, period!

After a couple of drama scenes with my ex I questioned myself, why drag someone’s name through the mud because we broke up when they were everything I had ever wanted. I asked myself if they were as bad and undesirable as I portray them to be, why am I still in love with them? I asked myself why I stayed with them for so long if I have so much shit to say about her after we broke up. Eventually I became tired of telling the same one-sided stories about how my ex was a complete monster to my innocent soul, how they betrayed me and how they literally destroyed me.

I know I’m not the only one guilty of dehumanizing the person I used to love with my all simply because they have decided to fold on me with someone who has managed to convince them to fall for them. What’s important is the ability to realize when you’ve lost character and find a way to get back in that positive lane. It’s never too late to do the right thing, no matter how much damage you’ve caused in someone’s life. Whether they forgive you, respect you for doing right after a mess or continue riding on their negative tip is a story for another day.

Try to get over the urge to block your ex on social media, that’s just one clear way to fail miserably at getting over someone. When you possess the right kind of energy you will be able to see a post of your ex and their new partner and still wish them well after genuinely liking the post. Positive energy brings with it the ability to get over someone you see on a daily basis simply based on the fact that you can accept reality that they broke up with you for a reason and that everything happens for a reason as it were. Don’t show weakness in this regard, acting prematurely, deleting and shredding everything associated with your ex after a break up for that leads to frustration and it’s really hard to respect someone when you allow them to infringe on your nerves. 

Another reason to respect your ex is that:

although they could have been the clouds on a gloomy day, they were also the rays of sunshine on a summer day.

My life was intertwined with screaming matches and laced with priceless memories, all of which, have turned me and hopefully my previous significant others into individuals that will be more compatible with their next, which is why I and them have to respect each other even after all the promises have been broken and all the hearts are bleeding from hurt.

Take some time to reflect on the beautiful traits your ex drew out of you. Traits that you didn’t even know existed because maybe that’s why you chase after the love you were given. Maybe that’s why you’re afraid to let go. Find it in yourself to respect your ex enough to appreciate what you had.

As much as your breakups were not rainbows and sunshine, just take a moment to appreciate the person that was put into a moment of your life, whose sole purpose was to be happy with you.